If you’re anything like me you consider yourself a professional who is on an endless quest for excellence. As leader and manager of a boutique consulting firm I pride myself on taking calculated risks. Every now and then the results of my risks strongly diverge from my expectations. In these instances, I’m not ashamed to admit a reality check may be necessary. Jack Mezirow (1990) and other adult educators might suggest that I was experiencing a disorienting dilemma. You know that moment where you can see your destination so near, yet so far. After all you have made all of the necessary preparations, did the research, even developed new materials. How could they want something else? Its as if you’re on an outing. You’re driving, almost there and, unexpectedly there’s a construction site laying between you and your destination. The expansive crater doesn’t show up on the GPS, never mind the maps.
So here is where the rubber meets the road. You have a critical choice to make. You can either learn your way out of it, or you can sit in the parking lot overlooking the construction site admiring your destination from afar. Amongst your choices is the option to begin exploring alternatives. Or you may want to turn back and go home. I usually lean toward the learning option. I rarely choose turning back. Have never been able to draw meaning from that alternative.
After a few reality testing questions such as; What do you mean they choose another consultant? WHAT! There are other consultants in New York City? Then I take stock of what cards I really am holding. I must tell you that the latter option might involve large quantities of chocolate. Sitting at a Blackjack table at a casino in Atlantic City, New Jersey I was surprised at how often the game was won by a low hand. I witnessed numerous people who won a hand of “21”with 16, 14 even 11 points. I have learned that its all about how you play the hand you’re dealt. It makes no sense to throw in your hand, or head back home when you can clearly see your destination. Step #1, look closely at your options. Are you limiting your thinking by worrying or focusing on unlikely possibilities out of fear or self-doubt? Have you embraced reacting, rather than acting or moving to transformation?
Once you have laid out your options. Pick the one that will get you closer to your true happiness and follow that path until the end of the road. You will either find your destination or not. Here’s the thing, it’s all about the journey, not the destination. Surviving a crisis is about how you deal with the crisis, not the outcome. Ask yourself, what can I learn from this situation? What am I taking with me that I didn’t have when I started this journey? In reflecting critically and exploring the roots of our thinking we can begin to shift perspective from crisis, to life situation, to life journey. Very little of what we label a crisis is actually so. Most of our challenges are really just bumps in the road. It’s all about your perspective and actively choosing critical reflection over the paralysis of sustained panic.
Reference:
Mezirow, J., and Associates (eds.). Fostering Critical Reflection in Adulthood. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 1990
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